In reading Beta English, you make the following statement: I affirm that, as of this moment, I have nothing else to do, and I understand that in gaining access to this site, I will be exposed to material of an insipid nature that is disoriented and without any substance whatsoever.

December 21, 2007

hopscotch

Running errands, I realise the cashiers are overly solicitous. Too much attention makes me paranoid, so I sneak into an employees-only loo to make sure I look clean and proper.

In certain lighting it is hard to see but, sure enough, I have a green ring circling my cheekbone.

Ring Ring to BFG:

- Did I fall down on Wednesday?

- No, why?

- I have a black eye.

- Well, this is what I remember; you walking smack into the kitchen pillar, yelping in pain and then immediately forgetting about it since you walk back into the sitting room, say you don’t know why but your shoulder hurts, then you lie down on the sofa and pass out.

- Isn’t that called a concussion?

- I think it's called a Johnnie Walker.

5 comments:

Big Ben said...

When you said you called BFG I took that to mean Big Fucking Goofball - correct me if I am wrong.

Noodles said...

From the Roald Dahl children's novel, Big Friendly Giant snatches Sophie from her bed at night and whisks her off to another land.

I use it for my boyfriend, because we came together under similar circumstances. It would be more interesting for me not to elaborate further.

Amichai said...

whatever it's called it might be good not to do it again.

Noodles said...

You are correct. Unfortunately...

I think I killed my liver last Sunday, Passover no less. I'm kind of yellowish. Shite.

Spike said...

how did you manage that? I hope you're back to the normal colour now!